Has someone in your life let you down?
I believe we can all answer “yes” to this question. It may be as trivial as a colleague not following through or as significant as a life-partner breakup, but heartbreak, disappointment, and grief are pretty much part of the package deal of this life on earth.
On my walk this morning, I thought of those who’ve hurt me, as I so often do. I wondered why these thoughts and pains surface over and over again. I easily absorb another person’s actions into my realm when in reality I have very little to do with the pain they inflicted upon me.
The wisdom bestowed on me this morning is that we are responsible for two things:
1) Ourselves and our actions
2) Loving others
Number two can be a bit tricky, because how can we love others when it feels like a one-way street? And how can I love others when their actions are so hurtful, confusing and betraying that it’s impossible to see beyond them? I was called out of my head and into my heart to answer these questions. And here’s the wisdom that flowed.
When it comes to loving others who have hurt us, we invest huge amounts of emotional time, thoughts and energy into the situation, and we let their actions seep into our hearts like needles. It’s personal. And it’s natural to respond with bitterness, resentfulness, and negative energy. But here’s the shift I found this morning: let go of the negative connection.
It doesn’t matter whether you are in communication with this person or not. You can hang up the negative connection like hanging up a telephone from the 80s. Instead of toiling and questioning and running the situation over and over in your head, we have the power to hang it up.
Now, begin a new connection with this person, whether they deserve it or not. Close your eyes, and in the lightest, most easeful way, imagine sending light to this person from your heart, and imagine that this light surrounds the person from head to toe in their comings and goings throughout the day today. And now, you’re done. No more thinking, toiling or obsessing. Hang it up, over and over if you have to.
The next thing required of us is to step towards the Light, however that may look or feel to you. For me, it’s stepping towards God.
Wallowing in negative thoughts and energy is not helpful to anyone, especially yourself. A simple energy shift allows you the freedom to let go and switch wasted time to constructive steps forwards. We humans are complicated, imperfect, prone to mistakes, and easily influenced by outside sources. The people in our lives who have hurt us may or may not have done it intentionally. There may be a thousand and one reasons why they made the choices they did, but it’s rarely about us – it’s about them and their empty spaces.
Sending our invisible yet powerful Light and Love into other’s empty spaces can help heal the situation, often without a word said. It allows us to repair the relationship or gently release the person from our lives and into God’s hands. In our shift towards the Light, we now have fresh, powerful, and loving energy to invest. When I was birthing my second child and shrieking at the top of my lungs, a nurse gently advised me to use the energy I was expending to scream, to push. My fear instantly vanished, and my miracle of a baby girl was born moments later.
We can invest this new energy into our collective Highest Good by supporting a solution to the original problem where the hurt may have stemmed. Find a cause or nonprofit. Read a book. Share some knowledge. Lend a hand to someone in need. Shine the Light on something that’s not easy to talk about.
Moving through grief and hurt inflicted on us by others takes time. Sometimes a long, long time. But I am learning that God is here to help us do this, and there are many joys and miracles to be discovered when we when redirect our resentment and bitterness to positive and healing energy and action. To focus our attention on the solution instead of the problem.
I know exactly which cause I’m reaching out to today.
I’d love to hear if any of you can relate to this.